You Are Epic. (a quick recap of nye)

Last night was not my most subtle display of tonsil hockey. In the middle of a packed room, watching a hardcore band. Oh dear. I asked the guy next to me for some of his beer as I was thirsty, drunk and couldn’t be bothered sifting through the masses of people to get to the bar. It probably translated to me mumbling “gimme some beer” whilst simultaneously shooting him sex eyes and motioning my glass aggressively at him. It certainly resulted in a bit of a giggle and a few kisses. I really like kissing.

Emily, what about ‘getting what you want’? Well, funnily enough, I’d been introduced to him earlier in the evening by Mr. Thorn-in-my-side. Jesus what was I thinking. I am still interested in him, but he dodged my kiss earlier in the night. Somewhere in between him and I leaving a picnic with all of our friends and going to the pub where we had tickets to see a few bands, I decided it was ok to kiss him in public. Evidently not. Fast track a few hours and I unintentionally VERY publicly (including in front of thorny) ended up making out with punky. Not just once either. Quite a few times and rather passionately. He asked for my number and told me he was going to a party for the actual count down but that he’d contact me afterwards. I didn’t wait for that, I went ahead and sent him a text saying “you are epic” within about 20 minutes of him leaving. Really? Reaaaaally? I couldn’t have thought of something more intelligible to say or even perhaps something less embarrassing? I was lucky he even sent me a post party text. Which he did, at a little past midnight, to which I replied with one word and then he drunk dialled me about 20 times up until 4am. The funny thing about having your period, it really prevents you from misbehaving.

Thorny ended up leaving the festivities not soon after my kissing display, I didn’t kiss anyone else after Punky either. The night basically turned out to be a bit of a disaster for a number of reasons, as is the nature of most hyped up celebrations I guess.

Little black book of 2012 has one number added to it. If only I could remember his name!

Thankfully thinking about naked men less than the last time I published,
Emily

Getting What You Want.

Fellow Flirts,

It’s the second last day of one of the worst years of my life, I’ve finished work and have sat down to write something I should have done a few days ago but I have been in a daze. A cock daze if you will. I still am. I am having trouble even concentrating enough to admit it.  I have never responded well to deadlines but spending more time thinking about mens genitalia in the past 24 hours than I have in a very long time is ridiculous, even for me.

There’s been a thorn in my side for a few months now. Let’s call him Tom.
Think beard, vans, guitarist, band t-shirts, asshole. Ridiculously good looking and a fantastic kisser, which I discovered a few evenings ago (belated christmas present from life I’m sure of it).

This persistent attraction coupled with my non existent sex life has resulted in a dilly of a pickle. I’m borderline infatuated with this person… and he’s never someone I could date. I can’t shake the feeling that I want to spend several continuous days in bed with him. It was unplanned, we spent the night getting cosy after hanging out at the pub with some mutual friends, I stayed over, we did things, but we didn’t engage in intercourse.  He is magnetic and makes my face buzz with happiness. My mind has been consumed by the image of him naked for at least 90% of my waking hours since. Having felt that, I have a problem which has manifested in the form of me being too scared to go all the way. I’m not sure if I could, if given the opportunity.

Recalling the events preceding my intimate encounter, I realised I pretty much exhibited every conceivable behaviour that constitutes what most people class as faux pas to deter men. It totally bagged him and this makes me so excited. He loves how I laugh with my whole body, can hang out with the boys and they’re happy to be around me, and I think that he loves it a little bit that I pretend not to be interested in him but I totally am. Who knows though, it’s all speculation at this point. I’m not going to say too much about it now seeing as though tomorrow night, new years eve, will probably determine the dynamic or possibility of us ever doing a sleepover again… oh boy do I want to do it again.

Happy EndYear,

Emily ‘aaaaaaaaand I’m already thinking of him naked in the shower again’ Vans.

NEXT UP – “Watching the borderlines…what is the point of no return between hilarity and shameful flirting” This will probably be a doozy because I have a very innapropriate sense of humour which I have little or no ability to control even when talking with potential babes.