- Polygamy in which a woman has more than one husband.
- A pattern of mating in which a female animal has more than one male mate.
I’ve been polyandrous for as long as I can remember. Even before I knew there was a word for it, I knew that I wanted to have more than one boyfriend. The idea of being stuck with one person, to the exclusion of all others FOREVER, kind of freaked me out, even as a kid.
I tried monogamy. It didn’t work. I was 18 and I was dating a very nice boy, but I cheated on him with someone I fancied. I didn’t feel bad about cheating on Nice Boy, so I broke up with him. What business did I have being in a monogamous relationship with someone I could cheat on so easily?
I spent years after that having casual sex. I didn’t like being in a relationship – at that point the notion of non-monogamy hadn’t occurred to me – so I chose to have lots of sex instead of having a relationship. I didn’t need any more than that. I had amazing friends, and I was able to have sex pretty much whenever I wanted, and it was fun.
Enter the man who became known as Local Boyfriend. We met in a nightclub (normal for me), had a one night stand (normal for me) and then kept seeing each other (wait…what?!). He’s the one night stand who stuck around. About three weeks in, I proposed the idea of non-monogamy. I didn’t feel ready for a relationship, but I liked him and wanted to see where it was going. In other words, I wanted to date him AND fuck other people.
I told him that he was welcome to take some time to think about it, and if he wasn’t cool with it, we could part ways. But he WAS cool with it. So, six years later, here we are.
What I didn’t expect, when I started all this, is that I’d end up in a second relationship. I really just wanted the freedom to get drunk and kiss people. But then, in early 2010 I started dating a lovely boy – who I ALSO met in a nightclub – and I’ve now been with him for almost two years. He moved interstate for a job about 6 months after we met, and for the last year and a half we’ve been commuting back and forth once every couple of months to visit each other.
Local Boyfriend is the love of my life. We have lived together for five and a half years, we have a wonderful home and two little cats and are looking forward to growing old together. He’s monogamous, I am not.
Interstate Boyfriend is great fun. Visiting him is like taking a break from my normal life – we stay in fancy hotels, we eat at posh restaurants, and we have an amazing time. There’s no pressure with him – no pressure to define what our relationship is, to put a name on it. We just have fun together, and enjoy each other’s company.
I feel very fortunate to have my two boyfriends. I am very well loved.
I’m now embarking on the beginning of a possible third concurrent relationship. It will be interesting to see how this unfolds.
Miss V Stiletto.