Where I’m at, a bit about where I’ve been and what I am hoping for…
As a 20 something single lady, partial to the cup of tea and friend of the cat, you’re probably thinking come on Emily throw another cliché into the works of someone who is destined to be forever alone. Fuck that. I can be those things and also someone worthy of having a lovely man to call my own. I’ve got a good job, I’m enrolled in a great degree and I like to get rowdy. The only thing that seems to be problem is that I am partial to only dating assholes. Is it so bad that I want to date a six foot + lumberjack looking guy who likes to read? I think I need to mix up my expectations, and put myself out there to have some of my pre conceived notions of what a relationship is to the test. I’ll say it now, I am scared.
The last time I sat down to write about my dating experiences, it was prompted by a very unfortunate evening spent with someone I had engaged with over the internet. It was basically a blind date; he turned out to be approximately a third of my height, very obviously homosexual and he had a peculiar issue with his skin (file away the idea of facial antiperspirant). Within 3 days of that experience, which prompted a swift life re evaluation, I was asked out by someone… so the writing idea got put on the shelf once again. Going on a bad date can make you jump at the next half decent proposition to come your way. Watch out for this.
Fast track a year and a half and here I am, I’ve been single for a year aside from a brief 1 and a half month stint with a pathological weed addict, and I’m ready to throw caution to the wind and get back into dating.
I’m sick of feeling like I’m bordering on becoming that discarded piece of fruit come the end of market day. Even though I have previously been discounted, nobody is keen to buy me (read as analogy of lowering one’s standards in an attempt to find a partner, see also ex boyfriend).
I guess I’m doing this to curb that feeling that I’m growing ever more cynical towards the prospect of finding someone compatible. I don’t want to be ‘crazy aunt emily’ the mid 40’s spinster who hasn’t had a boyfriend in the last decade. I want to take a practical approach to dating which enables me to be myself, wear normal clothes, not have to talk about corporate board meetings or algorithms to try and prove my intelligence. I am looking forward to working out a few different ways to let someone get to know me without knowing every detail of my life. How the hell do I do this? Right now, I don’t know.
At the moment; I hate dating, I think its nerve wracking and most of the guys I have gone on that initial date with I have found disgusting.
Here’s to hoping things might be a bit different for me in 2012! This might get interesting…
Emily Vans
violetandemily 